The Boys are Back in Town

I wasn’t sure if it was normal for Moscow, but I immediately began noticing lots of men wearing skin tight blue and white striped vests and powder blue berets at jaunty angles on their heads. At first, it was a job for the Fashion Police, then I wondered if it was a Moscow version of Gay Pride, and finally I settled on hopeful applicants for the latest Jean-Paul Gaultier advertising campaign. As we arrived at the closed gates of Red Square it all became apparent. ‘Why is Red Square closed?’ asked a fellow tourist. The guard on duty looked a bit uncomfortable and I asked Jane, our guide. She explained that these guys were not on their way to a Judy Garland festival, but that they were the VDV, the elite Russian paratrooper division. Today was their veterans day, and because they liked having such a good time, they had to lock up Red Square for it’s own good!

The VDV patron saint has his holy day on the 2nd of August and we had stumbled right into the middle of it! As we walked round you could hear chants of ‘VDV! VDV!” and I then spotted lots of groupies in skimpy striped tops being carried aloft by drunken partroopers. One of their traditions is to take a bath in Moscow fountains and it wasn’t long until we found what looked like a Roman orgy; piles of clothes everywhere, soldiers in tight CCCP undies in a fountain that was running red with wine (although I suspect it was actually red food colouring). A small table had been set up and there was an arm wrestling championship going on. I sidled up for a photo and one of the beefy troopers turned to me and lay a giant mit on my shoulder. Was he going to rope me in? Had I upset him? No, he actually asked me if I had a light. ‘N-n-no.’ I replied.

Elsewhere that afternoon we saw small groups of VDV, running through the Metro, climbing on things and generally being a menace to the status quo. It was kind of like  a camp freshers week on testosterone.